11:46am. New house.
It feels like a new home. After many months of 'to go or not to go' we made the move. Mom & Dad & Me. Dealing with a set of rusted faucets; falling door knobs; faded curtains and a dusty kitchen sink. Nevertheless, the food felt tastier; sleep came in better intervals; lesser arguements over TV shows and better 'yes-s & maybe-s' rather than plain 'No's. Guess, this is what having your own roof over you head gives you?! Yes, after many years of living in rented apartments and checking out flats in sidelanes, this is a welcome change.
Secure is the word. Safe is the feeling. Of the many things, we wish to own - a house that is every inch 'your own' will occupy top priority I think. Still - a lot needs to be done around here. Slowly, things should fall in place. Once my sister and nephew arrive from their holiday in the Far East, things will go more helter-skelter, but should be fun. This change is new. Something we didnt expect would arrive this fast. Though this is precisely what we wanted. Confusing right?
How many times have you been in a situation like this? When you have prayed, waited, imagined how what you so aspire for will be - but - when the moment finally arrives, your a little lost - maybe because the reality doesnt match imagination (it rarely does!) or you're ill-prepared for the real thing, that you keep postponing the moment, until...the moment takes you over!
My thoughts on dealing with change...
Going with the flow is the I-Ching here. Be so. Do not aspire or try. Just be and let it be. Dont mess with events around you. Sometimes silence is also a sign of work in progress. Just because you dont see or hear anything doesn't mean its not happening.
One of my favorite thoughts for life came from A R Rahman at the Vijay Tv Awards function (after collecting his award for Best Music Director obviously) "Kadavulum Kaadhal maathri...kannukku theriyaadhu!" So basically set aside doubts. Isin't everything you throw at the Universe, every wish you so dream of coming true actually DOES come true? It's always the WHEN that's the big question. And of course, as curious souls, we want the HOW to be detailed as well. Because, if we KNOW we (think we will) feel safe.
To go on a path blindfolded, relying on just faith in an unknown power, that calls for courage. Like bungee jumping - someone's holding the rope, but fall you must, with all that you have! Coming to a new home - settling new issues, tackling new days - is well a change I've so dreamt of but so resisted as well. Falling in Love is similar right? You so want it - but are so wary of all that it brings.
Just Go with the Flow...Enjoy the Fall.
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