What's up with me?

Ok. So its been quite awhile since I wrote. Since I even wanted to write. The reason my fingers go 'tch tch tch' on my laptop this morning is ...wait, I'm thinking. Hmmm...well, let's set that thought aside and dwell on more important things, shall we? Things I've been doing that's been occupying me, let me just list them out - a stock taking activity for the day!

- I joined driving class last week. For friends like Deva, Tsu, Priya and my mom, this is possibly the biggest step I could take next to jumping into the pool! I had driven earlier, many years ago, but didnt go beyond LLR since I wasn't too keen on driving as such...but behind this 'blog' reason is the real one - which is, my fear of being on the road. I've always been chided by my inner voice, which used to tell me that if the rest of the people drove properly then I can drive - but the first move has to come from outside, get it?! What a wrong perspective! Being confronted with some of the most excruciating circumstances in recent times, I've finally confronted that point of view. This step towards driving is also a psychological high-jump for me - to first, LEARN to drive through and within what I have around me - the big trucks & buses, the medium autos, the dozen and more varieties of cars and not to forget the cycles and fellow travellers on foot! I personally feel that the driving style of a person reveals a lot on their attitudes, patience levels, maneuvering abilities...much like how these traits determine the quality of our adult life in our personal & professional space! This is something I'm still learning to do and I hope I will be able to keep it up for real as well. My fears remain unchallenged till now, as I've some very experienced drivers telling me what to do...but one week from now, is the test! I breathe in & out at that thought, ahem.

- I joined drawing class. This has also been a lifetime dream to learn how to draw (like an artist, do you mind?!) and possibly have a collection of my own someday! Ranjit Sir is the best artist/teacher one can find in this part of the world. Despite his busy schedule and immense popularity with his ever growing student-list, he said 'yes' to teaching me how to use simple strokes to translate what I saw in front of me. A small mud-pot. Re-creating that image onto paper, I felt like...wait...I'm thinking again... let's say I felt like coming close to creation itself?! When I complete a drawing, and take it away from me to see if I've done justice to it, and when my teacher says I have - oh, my god..it most certainly makes me react like our beauty queens do when they win their crowns! Still trying to get some images right before my next class this week - still struggling to get the dimensions right, but its only been 1 class I say...! Chill.

- I saw one of the most brilliant works on celluloid - by the German filmmaker Werner Herzog. Aguirre - Wrath of God. The title of the film is the name of the hero or we should actually call him the anti-hero, played by Klaus Kinski (who pales the likes of Brando with his seething rage and simmering eyes!). Wrath of God is about a troop of Spanish soldiers who set out to find El Dorado. It's hardly an adventure flick - don't go for it expecting an Indiana Jones. This is Herzog's most famous film, one where he excels in drama, action and vivid story telling, if you know what I mean! Power and Fame being Aguirre's only goal, this commander's tryst with his maddening objective puts an entire race into oblivion. Recently, Mel Gibson made his Apocalypto - from the Spanish leader Pizzaro's point of view - of how they took over the Andes mountain range and with it the many Indians who were dwelling there. But I must say that Gibson's work is a poor cousin to Herzog's masterpiece. Both Kinski & Herzog had this unique semblance of rage within themselves that translates onto screen as well. The climax shot is a stand alone ovation point - where Aguirre, is left on a lone raft amidst the long-winding Amazon river, the poisoned arrows from the Incas hiding in the forests killing his small army & his 15year old daughter, Aguirre inspects the raft (Kinski with a lop-sided walk and twitching cheeks - wow!) that is now occupied by a pack of little monkeys, one of which he picks up tauntingly to tell the monkey who he is, 'The Mighty Wrath of God', a desperate sign of control and power - a trait that haunts him & his troop throughout this mis-adventure! Herzog made his film on man's search for the City of Gold (El dorado) from Aguirre's point of view. Mel Gibson just gave us a linear narrative of the entire history of the Spanish Inquisition. Herzog cleverly eschews the unnecessary details and zeros-in, on the travails of man in search - just that, still a searching race, we are - troubled by our own trappings of either emotional needs or materialistic ones, much like Aguirre himself! Herzog's film is a statement of a higher universal truth - well worded and superbly enacted by the unpredictable and most splendid actors, Kinski excels in every single frame - just see him do an about turn in stunned silence, when he hears the newly appointed Spanish King - (a thorough glutton whom Aguirre anoints in place of Pizzaro just to faciliate his decisions) grant 'cleansing' to the wounded commander (read shot at by Aguirre himself!) instead of ordering to execute him! Wow! What an outstanding piece of work! Anyone who sees this film, would not even want to attempt film-making! Herzog is a Master, before whom we all kneel in humble mercy!

- I liked Amitabh Bachchan's posts for day 66 and his follow up on it too. Particularly, his copy/paste of interviews is thoroughly enjoyable! Good move on his part to show how the media is mostly cliche'd in its approach towards our biggest star. Also, after many years of being so good at what he does - Amitji, still frets and worries over how he would perform the climax scene of an upcoming film. Fans wish him good luck, to which he reacts saying that one has to toil at it - everyday - for nothing in life comes easy! How simply said but how profound a line! I reflect on my own 'moments', and yes, nod my head and smile in agreement. Nothing came easy for me - even typing this piece is a fair amount of toil! I've noticed how this realisation does make a difference to our lives. Many of us fail to look into this simple fact and do not give our best to what we do. Well, life is a great teacher and to each of us, it will give us our lessons and its upto us to take from it or ignore the signs. But move on, life will, and if we fail, it will still move on leaving us behind.

Gosh, this has turned out to be one long post. Due to the fuel strike in TN, I'm up from 6am, driving class canceled for the day and still typing into my blog, thinking....ah, we are back to my one thought we began this with...! And...well, right now, BLANK is what I have for a thought.