God Who? Where?

20:04pm. Deva's house.

Seems like a twlight hour or is it the effect of the yellow colored tubelight in her house? Twilight hour - they say if you pray at this exact moment, your prayer is answered. By whom? The energy that rules this Universe, I would presume? Because God has taken various forms and is currently a work in progress, much like me. Vanity? No. Reasoning. Yes.

How did this transformation happen to me? I've lived all my life in a Mylapore Agraharam; spent my teenage years in temples nearby chanting slokas day and night with my grand-mom; followed simple traditions like waking up early everyday of the Margazhi month (December) to do the traditional kolams on the streets of the family house that I shared with my many cousins...? The answer is simply...LIFE. Life teaches you to face everything - good, bad & ugly with a 'Why so? Why me?'

The moment I started questioning happenings, the minute I saw reason behind my setbacks, the moment I stepped on a plane and saw the cloud around it's wings - I knew my Mahavishnu's Vaikuntam was not a part of my real world. It was at best a lavish 'film set' from erstwhile A P Nagarajan's movies! The Milky Way (Paarkkadal) is far above aeroplane heights, yes, but I'm quite certain that Andal's lover & Lakshmi's husband could not defy gravity and 'live on' in a human form in a zone where oxygen is absent! My vision of my God, stops with a smiling N T Ramarao in his Vishwaroopam with more than four arms instead of the normal two.

So could my 'God' be someONE or someTHING, living/being elsewhere? 2000 and 8 years hence, we enter the New Age way of finding God Consciousness. "I'm not a religious person, but you can call me...well...Spiritual", one hears this from peers and colleagues more often now. Being Spiritual is IN. Self help books and incessant gatherings by white robed Gurus, seemed to hold the promise of showing God to helpless souls (my saamiyaar tales are for yet another post! Wait on...!) like me. But they all ceased to have that power once I interviewed them for one magazine or the other. 'Miracle' was more possible with my mind conjuring up images that in some state of sleep seemed real, than from any Guru who could conjure up lingams from cloth bags.

God, confused me; because as long as I plainly believed in 'HIM', I had no problems with HIM. The second I questioned creation/people/events, was when I realised the powerless-ness of the images inside the Perumal Sannidhi in my house! Even as a child, I went to temples to learn more about the history of that place or just be lost in the architectural splendor of the pillars and statues or willingly transport myself to another era of kings & kingdoms (Do re-read my earlier post on the Tanjavur Temple visit!). Yes, I will admit that as I grew older, God became more personal. (He always was actually; I remember saying I wanted to marry Srinivasa'r' in my Mylapore temple anyway!)

And from HIM - HE, God slowly became IT - THE FORCE. Prayer was more an exercise in affirmation that things will improve; if they didn't I always saw it as something I have'nt done right, hence it was not happening right. To abandon the traditional God as was shown to me by my parents, meant increasing the level of burden I had to shoulder. To look for a great deal of faith in myself; to accept more responsiblity for my words & deeds; to take corrective action for lost time. I dont wish to hurt anyone who has traditional beliefs in god and therefore religion, hence I abide with most of the 'things to do with God' when it comes from my parents/friends. I do somethings for them even if I have no personal faith in the practises of worship.

Be it Gravity or God, I do see a 'connection' between us and Nature; a kindred-ness in emotional moments (mostly in pain) and when I say Nature, it also includes places - how sometimes we dont have answers to phenomena like Deja Vu or ESP-like occurences even in our daily life. Science has answers to most queries and my humble research tells me that the human mind is a great workshop - it is capable of a travel beyond boundaries! Man has fought & killed in the name of God/Religion - the absence of which is actually a platform for discovery and invention or in most cases, even Art. A quick reading of Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything & Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion should put any unquiet mind to rest. With time, I guess any person will make their peace with the 'knowledge' that we are our own God(s)! This thought comes from our scriptures, which mostly is mistaken to be just the Vedas. Much like how the Greeks left behind volumes on human life, our Indian ancestors have also left us with great works like the Upanishads, which is not a pro-God or religion treatise but is actually a philosophical/political/social set of insights for our everyday life!

Aham Brahmaasmi - Tat Tvam Asi. Naane Brahmam - Neeyum Athuvey. I am God-consciousness. So are you.
A film called Anbe Sivam well illustrates this theory. To see God in a child's smile, in one act of kindness to a fellow human being, in one moment of ecstasy, in that single second of running the extra mile for success, in the gratification of seeing a job well done, in even wanting to help another being - you can add more 'such' to this list. No one human being is higher or lower than another, except in intelligence or talent (which is also unique). Rich or poor, it is ultimately your attitude and who or what you take to be your benchmark in life that determines your success or lack of it in this planet.

Does God need veneration? Ritual? Tradition? I dont think so. Religion is a man made commodity that is used to stir up emotions to suit a moment's maddness. Humanity is a bigger religion than any man made one. The fact that we all possess similar DNA (Darwin's evolution theory links us to apes, birds, amphibians, reptiles, one floating amoeba)...this single thought from Science should tell us to stop any practice/differentiation in the name of caste/religion/color.

Of course, at work, I parade my Vadakalai Iyengar lineage in all glory - just for the many laughs and also to drill it into myself that I am NOT any name that religion accords me; I am just SUJATHA - a woman born and living in a geographically bordered city called Chennai, in a country called India.

Thanks To....

18:20pm. Old home.

Fresh showers for this season. It has finally rained in Chennai. To smell the wet sand and feel the cool wind - in a city, where the evening temperature is nothing less than 37 degrees celsius, is something to be thankful for! Sometimes, counting your blessings as they say is a good exercise; it leaves one with a sense of all that has been seen and done, and therefore, a sense of accomplishment arrives! Still, there is that need to work towards a better life, hence we will also look at things we dont have and aspire for that list as well. Our very own 'Bucket List'!

Caught in a rather 'in between' time in my personal and professional life, I count my blessings which even on a single scan of thought, brings a smile! Apart from the regular list of blessings, I've also had the good fortune of facing adversities that have taught me lessons for life; left me well chiseled to sculpt my personality to manage myself in this wide world. My Thank-You List would read something like this:

- The disappointment of not going on stage, even though I was chosen and had practiced long & hard to sing a solo for our Inter-House culturals in school. A friend of mine was singing the same song, while I walked back home, clutching my school bag across my heavy heart.

- The feeling of 'falling in love' without knowing the end of that road, sometimes not having a road at all!

- The moment I was told my services were no longer required in my first job, despite having delivered a good track record, when I was all of 19. "Jealousies of a senior colleague", I was told later.

- Meeting 'Sivaji' Ganesan, Rajinkanth and Kamal Haasan for my maiden magazine competition (and winning it too); Meeting all my favorite and revered film makers/actors of this country thereafter, getting to know them on a personal level (someone quickly do the 'dhrishti' for me!) - thanks to Mirchi and to my own flair for movies!

- Anbe Sivam

- My 1st on air moment in Radio...and with it, Tapas, Shirty & Romen.

- Several moments in Mirchi's formative years that gave me my best friends. Specially the day when the email from Arvind did the rounds, and within minutes, the entire programming team rallied around me and sorted the issue before it could be escalated further. Have not yet thanked Devasena, Senthil, Jimmy, Mani, Pramod, Romen Sood and of course Arvind, who was the hero of the piece. Unforgettable cameos from Suchitra, Remy & Balaji made the scenes truly spicy...in keeping with our tagline, that day was Semma Hot Machi! That day also taught me the importance of having a 'team' that told me I'm not alone; how important everyday interaction in office is and how, when you're really lost and vulnerable, help will always come. Just keep the faith.

- The thrill of seeing my name on the silver screen in a succession of movies.

- The sheer day to day experience of managing men & women in cinema.

- My friends for life from this volatile medium of movies...most of them directors, some of them actors, who have the understanding & patience for this creature called Me!

- My Gurus in not just Journalism, but life - Rao sir & Madhan sir, who have taught me the importance of having a discerning mind; the relevance of keeping a high standard of excellence in work or be it in a simple matter of giving my opinion on anything.

- The esctasy of having friendships from school that traveled across 22years and the agony of having it all broken thanks to marriage and misunderstandings. Still...every excursion, every evening spent in Alsa Mall, Fountain Plaza, Sathyam Complex, Devi theatre, the Dabhas & Tic Tacs of Chennai are as fresh as this first rainfall! Not to forget the night-outs in the name of group studies; election and exam result times; Inter School Culturals; our gang's private trip to Kodaikanal; the day long time-spent in each other's homes with nothing to do save for repeated discussions of our own lives and the opinions each one had on it!

- My unique friendships with talented souls - be it a Psychiatrist in Chicago (This is your 5 secs of fame Dr. Ranganathan!), artists & painters of Chennai, my Art Director friend Prabhakaran, who opened his circle of friends to me, businessmen who always had me in mind for every new opportunity; media friends who have known me for several years and even now stand shoulder to shoulder for any professional deal I take to them; strange people who have met me only once and have kept in touch with the same warmth and comfort.

- Holding my dad when his mom died (I was 13yrs old); being the 1st person to hold Anand (my nephew) when he was born in 1995 - that kind of completes the circle of life I guess!

Hmmm...guess my Vote of Thanks is an endless one. This is by no means a comprehensive list; its what I can think of in one glance. Im sure future posts in this blog will talk of each moment/person in my life...in detail and with all honesty. As I said earlier, one scan of thought - one smile and I'm glad money or other materialistic stuff didnt make it to this list!

Celebrities & Them

A recent reading of an acquaintance's blog got me thinking. It's content was indirectly directed at me or I can safely say, people like me, who work in the Film Industry. The post read like a gossip snippet, without mentioning names, just alphabets for reference and comments on 'kollywood' & obvious digs at souls like me who deal with it. It kept gnawing at my grey cells for across, say, 4 days now. My reaction Ladies & Gentlemen is after much deliberation.

People who love, hate, criticise showbiz are aplenty. Those that have access to 'those' who are behind the camera (which is a majority as against having access to those in front of it)...the former Those have a lot of questions to ask the latter 'those'. A sample list will read as follows:

"Hey, do you know when such and such a film is releasing?"

"Isin't so and so actor a real casanova?"

"I heard this actress really tried to cut her wrists over her boyfriend, is it true?"

"Im suchhh a BIIgGG fan of this singer, can you pleeeeaassseee make me speak to him once?"

Now, it is no big deal for me, who is and always have been dealing with people who make films for a living. But when hounded with questions as those above, at a non-filmy party or a coffee meet at a friend's house, I must admit, I scan a little to check the validity of the question and the interest of the interrogator. When I'm convinced that the interest is greater, I indulge. Spice my content up a bit, yes, as I try to keep anything I say or write less boring... but NEVER do I fib over film people/facts, as I value them a great deal.

Being with Mirchi as their Content Editor/RJ/Film Repertoire Consultant and tested film making waters as Executive Producer/Head of the Films Dept for over 2yrs, I think I have the right to say that it IS a big deal to be a success in showbiz (in any of the Bolly/Kolly/Molly/Tolly 'woods' as you please! First someone must file a petition to do away with these misnomers for each of our film industries!). A star or a technician has an edge, a triumph over strife, that has brought them upto a level of popularity/success, enough to be discussed at kitty parties or in college canteens and mostly, inside the walls of prominent media/broadcast houses! The initial 'wow' factor is always followed by a 'I thought so' refrain...as it's unthinkable for anyone to be told some facts which they (obviously) dont know about 'their' film stars (which is why they ask creatures like me!). But as I have observed, they will only believe what they wish to believe about anyone you mention. But the questions will always be posed as if they eagerly wait for an authentic response.

As a reporter/RJ, I'm always gunning for the untold story, explore the unknown facet of a celebrity. On unraveling that, my respect for each of them who I've had the chance to interact with has only multiplied. My personal views/experiences apart, my professional ones will always have a positive side to it. Therefore, when I'm asked about a certain film personality, I would always present them in a good light. And if its a friend asking me 'doubts', then I will give my personal take on people or my interactions with celebrities with real instances.

I had no clue how this was perceived until I read this particular snippet-post! It hit me that those who ask me questions on film stars do so to fulfil their voyeristic needs. I'm just (used, more likely!) a window, which they will open and shut on their whim 'n' fancy. The fact that I'm human, I spend time on such moments, I try to always give the real picture as far as possible is of no concern to the star-gazers! There is little or no interest to know the real stories of struggle even on their favorite actors. It is more an inherent disdain at mortals who actually happen to know their stars! Such Q-A sessions also gives them a side-kick (literally!) chance to heap insults thereafter at people like me, who, having said the truth, will be targetted by the very same lot who ask for such information! When something I say in good faith is translated as an attempt to show off what I do for my profession, it hurts. But as they say, it happens to the best of 'em!

"When you're discussed in absentia, that's the moment you've stopped being a commoner; you're on your way to being what we call - a Legend", I let Tapas Sen's (one of my favorite people & Chief Programming Officer in Radio Mirchi) words ring through this post. Adding to it was another publicist friend who said, "When your work is spoken of behind your back and when your words have been twisted to be presented in another light, rejoice, for you've become a star machaan!"

I take a bow!

Big B

Only when my colleague and friend Devasena reminded me did I even think about it! The 'IT' here being this blog. Because unlike Amitabh Bachchan I dont have exciting stuff happening mornin', noon 'n' nite for me to keep updating this post. And neither is the world interested in knowing about MY mornin', noon 'n' nite. Hmmm... AB!!

Amitji's writing is so on the mark - his astute mind is a delight to unravel! Please note his time of entry for his posts...it is quite inspiring! Guess he hardly sleeps but is always on time for work, as he writes in one of his posts about how the film unit in Nasik gears up for the day's shoot. A frenzied account that's marked with his trademark, wry sense of humor. And his digs at media and retorts to Ramadoss are by now familiar, but it is a treat to know what makes each day work for a man like Big B! I mean if he can continuously do so well, what he has been doing for so many years...what are we complaining about working for our daily life?

This is what I keep telling my dad all the time. My dad's tryst with life is no mean achievement. He is just 3 and a half yrs older than AB and like him is still running the show at home and in his office - the only thing he values as dearly as us, for the last 30 odd yrs. Something more than just money must be the motivating factor behind these many years of hard work, dont you think? Something extra that makes people like AB or my dad or anyone you know who is 60plus and still at it - still going strong, handling day to day tensions, everyday hassles at work, monthly and annual financial hurdles, family matters that only get complicated with time and never once settle down (as you grow, those that you know are also growing up you see!) ... Phew!

Psst! Did you get the idea that I think of AB like my dad? Good, I did'nt think so! Because... Amitabh Bachchan is the sexiest 60plus Indian Actor alive! In fact, I hated the idea of Aishwarya playing his daughter in Mohabbatein. This was thankfully negated a little with Kajra Re, but to my dear misery, they have now become dad-in-law and bahu in real life!! Tch..Tch! To me, watching AB in Aks was an unforgettable experience... his seduction of Raveena Tandon was a class apart...(he should play these 'shades of grey' roles often)...! AB's zest for life is evident in him changing flights between Bangkok and Nasik covering a press meet at London en route, all within a span of 4 days! Despite his physical weaknesses, there is a huge force working for him in the form of his sharply honed IQ that comes up with an answer for every query/comment. How else do you explain the various 'things-to-do' that he so perfectly goes about doing in his span of 24hrs?! His energy & dedication to give each shot his very best is so there, even in the Dabur commercial, where despite the flailing dhothi, Amitabh Bachchan stands tall-er!

And all this is from someone like me, who re-started to notice her Icon-actor Amitabh Bachchan from, no...not Black but Dev and Virudhh. Yup, I've seen every one of AB's films including the Kaalias and the Toofans...so please save yourself the impulse to take class on one of the (few) actors, who have given me many a celluloid dream...and if I may add, because of whom I'm even part of this wonderful process of film-making! This re-invention of himself that Amitji did, is no mean achievement. He rose like a phoenix and is now here to stay, giving every young Khan his run at the box office! To have roles written for you even when you're a character actor; to take on as many assignments, stay in the public eye yet not diminish in star value; to make as many personal decisions yet manage a public life that's the envy and aspiration for many - AB's stock rises with every line you read!

No, I did'nt reckon with Brand Bachchan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham but I did relish his performance in the other K film where he appears in surprise intervals with his by now in vogue,black 'n' red shades. Amitji's Sam had so much panache' that it puts to shame Jack Nicholson's playboy act in Somethings Gotto Give. And...the name of the film springs up just when I'm winding up this post... Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna...!

And that's just what I (we!) wanna say to Big B anyways - Never say Goodbye, Mr. Bachchan!

Back to the past!

I refuse to call the PeriyaKovil in Thanjavur a temple...because it didnt feel like one to me. I felt more...familiar. Wait...before you guffaw at that line, Let me explain.

The minute my family announced a pilgrimage to Kumbakonam/Srirangam via Thanjavur, I perked up. I'm an agnostic who pushed an Iyengar group to take on this trip in full gusto. The only reason was the promised detour to a Saivite King's symbol of monumental glory! The very name Raja Raja Chozhan is music to my ears. It is, I know history - but it rings more like a name from 'my' past. I hope the guffaws have stopped and this piece is read with the attention it deserves! I continue...

I always felt a 'connection' with any historical anecdote, from when I was 12yrs old, mugging up dates of conquests to when I was in the 12th Std., writing long paragraphs on Kings and Kingdoms. History was the only subject where I won and my peers lost. Of course my teachers thought I was just plain brilliant at it. Only I knew the real reason! I clear my throat....

I would transport myself into racing along the Mongol terrain with Chenghis Khan as he conquered one Chinese territory after another. I would feel the seat on the Peacock Throne as that would've been a gift from Nadir Shah. I was the Rani of Jhansi staking my life to the welfare of her state. I helped Chandragupta Maurya plan his war strategies, sitting in his army tent. I held religious discourses with Akbar in Fatehpur Sikhri. I've played chess with Jahangir, romanced Shah Jahan in Taj Mahal (where else!), sang soulfully with KrishnadevaRayar, who was in hiding from his uncle and I would fall in love forever with Raja Raja Chozhan. Obviously because we spoke the same language! That was the only reason why I would score so much in History and almost fail in Maths, Physics and Chemistry (the rest of the subjects were quite ok!)

Back to the present: With this refrain of thought, I step inside the hot annals of Periya Kovil, camera in hand and quite a bit of family in tow.

In my dreams, this place was always cool - the corridors and compound was washed with fresh water from the well. The feet, bereft of sandals would soak in the cold rock slabs. The huge area would be an expanse of silence. This was a temple of Art - with sculptors working their way to polish their creations to the faint sounds of the veena and mirudangam. A group of musicians in one corner, providing the melody for the beat from every chisel that fell off the statues & pillars. Apart from the King, there were a few ministers who had come to see a performance that evening. Mine. A dance to remember.

{Raja Rajan was a dynamic and highly intelligent king, whose exploits were the crux of Ponniyin Selvan - an immortal classic by Kalki. My all time love for history came from this novel. And each time I read it, I would imagine myself in Thanjavur.}

The King and I were dressed in red. My dance - the only thing that moved me in this world, was appreciated by many but most profoundly by Raja Raja Chozhan. We were given a few minutes alone, one of the very many we were to have, within the very walls of this temple fort.I stop.

My flashback was interrupted by the sight of the temple elephant that was trained to pose with every passing visitor! 2008 - and I'm smiling and hitting my head on my travel back in time. I shrug myself out of this improbable imagery and walk on... to see the temple tower emerge. A sight to behold, this indeed is a testimony to the emperor's greatness! The Nandi, held court imperiously (a witness, perhaps?) and I clicked on from various angles. I walked further to the main temple...the altar of Lord Shiva, the biggest Lingam in all of India. At this point, RajaRaja Chozhan came back. And the veena resumed its tune.

This time, the King had the face of an actor, whom I had the privilege of meeting more than once before he died. Sivaji Ganesan, had enacted the role of the Chozha king in a Tamil movie. There was this scene in that film, where his daughter - the princess plans to elope with her lover, and she chooses the tunnel from the palace leading to the temple altar, to escape. When she reaches the altar, garland and lover in hand, she finds the king, standing tall with his sceptre, giving her a non-verbal order that she might have come this far but she cannot go further! The ShivaLingam acts as an ally to this 'kingly' moment. A powerful metaphor, where the roles of a mortal king and that of an immortal one are juxtaposed!

With this image in mind, I enter the queue of devotees, who unlike me, were quite immersed in drawing Lord Shiva's attention to their woes! I for one, stayed transfixed at the thought of being in the same room, as Raja Raja Chozhan... Imagine! The King and I have now walked these very steps, touched the same walls, treaded the same ground in and around this very location. This 'same-same' journey happened to two people - one a king and one a commoner in two different time zones, that's all! Wow...! I go back to my dream.

I'm by the King's side. He is saying something to me. I turn around to leave, and he just gazes on. RajaRaja Chozhan's gaze is deep, like a tiger, that amazes and scares you simultaneously. He waits, plans, catches you unawares and holds you captive for a lifetime!

If Life were to be like Facebook...!

Imagine...! That word has immense possibilities right? That's why on a hot summer afternoon, I decide to write on my latest fad from the hotter square room of my dad's rented apartment. My fad goes by the name called Facebook. Sometimes, faces do read like a book, right? So must be some genius brain that thought of giving an internet networking site the name.

What if life were to be like Facebook? "It would be miserable," said my COO just the other day at one of the hottest outdoor parties that my radio company can ever organise (it was hottest due to only one reason and that's the 34*C Chennai weather at 10pm). Initially addictive, with its myriad cute things to do, images, little applications, questionnaires that keep you busy even when you're jobless, the giving and receiving of gifts, the keeping track of what's on the minds of those in your friends list - hmmm...looks like Facebook does have its good points. But as my COO continued to point out, "In the beginning I did run back to my Facebook like an eager,faithful husband everyday... then I kind of realised that you end up taking note of people who are not really your best friends, and those who are, you never seem to have time for them at all anyways!" Made sense at some level.

But...I'm in level 2 of this mother of a habit that I've picked up ever since I asked, "What is a facebook?" rather naively to a friend who is a decade younger than me on one fateful evening. After two months of being with it, I still wish life was like Facebook. Happy, naughty, lots n lots of good fun, free gifts, gratifications, wow! Gleeful! Gosh, THAT'S the word for Facebook.
Now... do I want my life to be just GLEEFUL. I mean what is that word anyway? Naaaah...!

Life has to be like...LIFE. REAL. Now, I'm into this emphasising mode and I will get into writing each adjective in BOLD with CAPS ON. Taking off from my last post, my mind is still B L A N K. I just erased a whole lot of smses from my phone, making it feel as light as a feather. I have this or used to have this habit of saving up good, nice, memorable messages from those who matter (ed?) to me. Now, in a state of calm (or so I think) that has recently descended upon my otherwise volatile self, I've deleted those msgs that had made me smile, given me hope, cheered me up. Have I erased memories? Maybe. Or maybe I'm trying to erase them with this one act because, people associated with those memories are no longer active in my life?

Why do human beings so relish to HOARD things, images, words, emotions... store, save, keep?! Why are we the only species that wants to look back, carry moments, keep baggages and thus we almost always remain as static beings in motion and not a work in progress that is improving with time? See, this is what hot afternoons in your parents' home does to someone like me! I began with the thought of what if life were to be like Facebook and now I end this post with some vague no brainer questions.
Much like the experience of being on Facebook or any new chat/networking site, right? Its all fun and addictive only in the beginning.. but with time...? Hmmm...!
Much like friendships, love...well, anything we attach our emotions to always finds a way to detach itself from us. We simply have no choice but to hit the NEXT button.

Movies - the main course!

Movies. Even before I knew what this word meant Ive been in love with it. My dreams ranged from technicolor to the current DI-ed double positive! Sometimes Ive played out whole 3hrs of filmstock in my mindscreen much after the film's run out of its theatres! The vaguest of dialogues have made the maximum impact, the most effective of scenes have left me wanting for more... ditto for the song n dance routines in Indian cinema, along with the dishum-dishum bits, without which Indian movies are stripped of their larger than life image! Yes...Indian cinema is possibly the only cinema in the world to have an image of its own, much like its actors, who would be replaced or retained in my silverscreen operas, depending on their 'on screen relationship' with me (wink!). I remember, lying down on the sofa, every morning for atleast fifteen minutes, weaving my celluloid fantasy, much to my mother's annoyance, as I would invariably be late for school.

Im so passionately in love with this medium that has the power to create and put out something so simple as just a story. I mean...our Moms & Grandmoms did that with ease & flair, so whats the big deal here?! And...the thinking mind always prefers books that makes us create our own visuals and whats more fun is that my visual will not be the same as yours...and hence the disparity makes it unique to both of us. Even if the story is one person's creative output, it is still customised in the reader's mind, much like Art, where interpretations differ. Painting gave us our perspectives - our different dimensions, to create and to comprehend.

And cinema, IS THE medium wherein an individual's creative vision/perspective of an idea/story is presented in such reality - touch & feel, for acceptance by another! The audience laps up or throws back ONE person's version of a story told in grandeur or simplicity. In other words, we watch and get entertained with a series of decisions for presenting a story that are made by the person called the Director. We think we like a particular scene/song because of our own sensibilities, but it is actually one person's ideas that we are rooting for! If Manirathnam's take on terrorism set against a backdrop of unrequited love gave us Chayya Chayya & SRK in 'Dil Se' - then the same outline made us put our hands together in an entirely different presentation and thought in Santoshsivan's 'Terrorist'. Same themes, different narrative styles and we simply dont realise that till somone points it out for discussion. Even then, the film is discussed in separate tones from the filmmaker. When in reality, we are just clapping or pooh-poohing the Director's ideas that have strung the film together. For cinema, he/she is GOD. And in a religiously rooted nation like India, its no wonder that cinema and its makers/actors enjoy godly status as well. And when one person presents something that has an universal appeal - it sets boxoffice records. To get that match right is I think, every filmmaker's tryst with this medium.

{I didnt understand any of this then - and maybe I dont even now as all of this maybe very idealistic or lofty or too simple, for this is again my version of cinema put out for you! So hey... I maybe completely wrong or illogical but this MY blog youre checking out and this is my clothesline, wherein I try to pinup as many clothes(posts) in as neat and as interesting a line as possible!!!}

Cinema - came with its Story, acting, music, dance, the tears and of course the laughter -and its only cinema that gave me ample scope to 'feel' all of this too. Its with cinema that I grew up, to one day, some day be a part of its making as well. And here I am....

Movies and its magical process of seeing an idea evolve, get tossed around and eventually retain its soul despite going through many transformations to what lies outside....and after 'all this is said and done', you put out the idea to the rest of the world, that just makes or breaks it as per their Will! OH...That agony and ecstasy is what makes this journey so tirelessly beautiful! To listen, see, and absorb great minds that have many a story to tell or have many ways of telling the same story sometimes... that bliss, taught me ONE lesson - that whatever we choose as the single most precious thing to do in our lives, that one thing will demand the maximum out of us. It will call for sacrifices from the deepest chambers, it will be the toughest master to please, it will goad us on a road of no-return and will also slowly, very, very slowly give us back first, ten fold and then a hundred and if by then, this lifetime still remains - a thousand fold! But it comes only if we persevere, only if we go with IT's flow.
The will to work in movies is a ride that's really From Here to Eternity...!
After all who can resist the reward of a long, neverending kiss in the end?!!

{From Here to Eternity holds the world record for the longest kissing scene shot on a beach between its lead pair}